Overworking mind.
January 18 2014, 13:23
lots of things happened.. i don't know how to end and where to
start again... up til now, i've been tormenting myself by thinking and showing
that i'm really okay though deep inside there was still a thought of never
giving up... there's no point in holding on to someone who already let go of
your hand. i'm being a fool again. and i feel so sorry for myself for feeling
this way. i just can't forget things easily, especially the things that really
made me happy, made me feel special and appreciated.
as of now, i'm doing my best to be okay, over working my mind is
my only way to stop thinking about unnecessary things. it's a little difficult
because it made my body feel the restlessness but this is what i have to do...
pushing myself to be motivated to the my paper works. feeding my brain with
lots of information by reading and pushing my brain to its limit by reading
lots of books. i can't make a single moment of space to think of what happened.
though at times, i think of that and it made my heart shiver in pain.
especially when his last words echoed inside my head. i feel like i was
showered my an ice-cold water and made my heart frozen... nobody want to
defrost it because it's not worth defrosting. :(
if i keep on writing stuffs about these feelings i guess i can't
move on. but this is my only way to release all the pain my heart bears. HEY!
YOU, IF EVER YOU COME ACROSS MY BLOG AGAIN AND READ THIS... I JUST WANT TO TELL
YOU "THANK YOU FOR THE MOMENTS YOU MADE ME FEEL SPECIAL AND LOVED AND
APPRECIATED EVEN THOUGH IT WAS JUST FOR TEMPORARY. I HOPE WHEN YOU'RE DONE
FIXING YOUR ROAD, YOU'LL WALK ACROSS MINE AND DROP BY TO SAY HI! THAT'S ALL!
THANK YOU!"
there were times that i thought i'm regretting the moments that i
had fun with him but it always fade easily. then i realize, i'm not regretting
anything. from the craziest thing we shared up to the most painful goodbye. i'm
not regretting anything. it was because of him i learned that i should stick to
my principle and believe my own virtues in life. taking risk always come with
doubt. only Faith will prove that you did good in making that decision. :)
i don't know how many blog entries i had written for this month??
hmm well look forward for more... i'm gonna be writing again :)
