Thursday, July 25, 2013

this sucks!

Why it has to be me? I thought everything’s gonna be okay. But why does it have to be me? i had enough of this depression. I don’t know how to let this all out. I feel that words are not enough to release everything. Keeping all these pain and misery made me more selfish. I don’t know how to be happy anymore. I feel like the more I try to be happy and enjoy what I have the more I feel depressed and disappointed.  I hate to cry to about this matter but this is all I can do for now! DAMN!! THIS IS SO LAME!!!! I’m such a weakling… crying over such non sense thing? What the hell!!?? Is this the result of all that finding-myself-moment I had before?? I became so weak and an overly cry baby… honestly, there’s nothing much to cry about and that is the reason why I can’t tell to anyone why I’m crying because even I don’t know the reason behind all these tears. but you know, the truth is I feel so weak, helpless, hopeless and unworthy. I don’t feel there is a need for me to stay alive. This feeling of immaturity sucks!!! Plus that family problem I had… why do I have to bear all these burden??? Why only me?? I know sometimes I’m over reacting on things like this but all my weakness showed up during this moments and seriously THIS SUCKS!!!!  How I wish I have him here, he knows what to say to comfort me and make me smile…. He’s the only one who have that kind of magic… 


my grayness fades at this moment :(

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