Wednesday, January 15, 2014

shit heart

Damn! What am I doing?? Im hurting myself again!! Damn it!! Why does it hurt so much when she’s the one who told me that? It really hurts! I feel like my heart’s gonna be torn into pieces. My knees weakened and my body feels so much chill inside. It hurts so much that I want to cry so bad but tears just don’t fall down. My heart has been feeling weird for the past days and now her words add up to my failing heart. My heart feels like it’s being squeezed by her own hand. It really hurts. Damn this feeling!! I’m not regretting that I still love him and I’m still in love with him… it’s just that I feel like I’m gonna fall down to my feet. Why do I have to fall deeply in love with someone who’s already tied up with her? I chose this for myself, I know but.. this pain… I thought I can handle it. I thought I can manage to smile beyond all these hidden pain but again and again I’m wrong! I’m always wrong. I can’t hide the fact that I’m so much hurt I feel like dying. DAMN!!!!! I hate this feeling.. I want to rip off my heart and throw it as far as I can!! I want to hide this feeling by whenever I am with him I just want to show him more.. show him and prove to him how much I love him… but seems like we are really in the wrong time… we are in the wrong planet… we are not in our world… we can’t rule here. We can’t make things happen here… too bad I got late and he’s tied up… shit! I really love him that’s why it hurts so bad!!! I really don’t know what to do right now.. I’m really hurt… SHIT!

23:01

09DEC2013

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